One crisp afternoon, DumbDird stood proud. For once, he had organized something. Something grand. Something greasy. A trip to Burger King, not the drive-thru—inside. Why? Because SuperDumbDird and UltraDumbDird had never been inside a Burger King before. A crime, in DumbDird's eyes.
"Durr, welcome to Burger King." DumbDird said as the automatic doors flew open.
SuperDumbDird’s eyes widened in amazement.
UltraDumbDird gasped and immediately tried to lick the floor.
DumbDird slapped his hand away. “No. Not yet. First… we dine.”
At the counter, DumbDird led the charge, proudly ordering three Whopper Juniors. The food arrived, and within seconds:
"Durr, I wanted more," DumbDird muttered.
"IT'S TOO SMALL," SuperDumbDird wailed.
"Duh, I wanted more meat," UltraDumbDird said while biting the wrapper.
So, they stomped back to the counter and requested a Whopper Senior.
The confused employee blinked. “...You mean, a regular Whopper?”
“YES,” they all said in chorus.
Three full-sized Whoppers arrived. The trio inhaled them with record-breaking speed, like food-powered vacuum cleaners. Ketchup everywhere. A tomato slice hit the wall.
Feeling energized after the burgers, DumbDird pulled out his dusty flip phone.
"Durr, Beric made this for emergencies."
He opened an custom-made app called "Durr Blaster" Beric helped him create a few days ago. Moments later, the restaurant’s radio cut out.
Then it blasted:
"DURR, DA, DOO, DOO, DOO, DA DOO DOO DOO, I-UH, YEAH. DURR DA, DO DU DO"
Everyone turned. Forks paused mid-air. A baby cried.
DumbDird froze like he got hit with a stun grenade.
He fumbled the phone and switched it back.
“…It was the wind,” he muttered.
SuperDumbDird wandered to a giant promo poster of a flaming-orange Whopper.
"Durr, when's SpongeBob coming on? I wanna see... uh... the space squirrel. And the money guy."
The cashier stared.
“…Sir, that’s our new How to Train Your Dragon Whopper poster. It doesn’t play TV. But would you like one?”
SuperDumbDird nodded. The cashier sighed and handed him the burger.
It was just a regular Whopper dyed orange.
He took one bite. “WHERE’S THE SQUIRREL?”
DumbDird smacked his forehead.
“That was $7 of MY money, you know!”
“You have millions!” SuperDumbDird shouted back.
“YEAH, BUT YOU’RE GONNA SPEND IT ON BURGERS, POSTERS, AND DISAPPOINTMENT!”
Meanwhile, UltraDumbDird had become... distracted.
He ate half a napkin, tried chewing the table corner, and then randomly sprinted at the window.
THUNK. He bounced off like a rubber ball.
He collapsed dramatically, tears gushing like anime sadness.
"DURRRRRRRRRRR, I WANNA KRABBY PATTY RIGHT NOW!" he wailed, snot flying.
He trudged to the counter. “One Krabby Patty, please.”
The cashier looked at him.
The cashier left. Forever.
🍔 The Aftermath
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The manager banned them from ever returning.
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DumbDird left $2 on the table as a "tip".
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UltraDumbDird tried to steal a straw holder.
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SuperDumbDird kept asking if the poster was on Netflix.
As they walked out into the sunset, ketchup-stained and banned from yet another fast food chain, DumbDird sighed.
“I planned this day. And somehow… it still went exactly as expected.”
The DumbDird trio vanished into the horizon. Hungry again. Chaos inevitable.
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